Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
