the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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