Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
