You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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