"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize