I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
