She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
