the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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