I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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