im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
