Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize