I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
