I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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