the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
