have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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