i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Life is so much better after having sex.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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