I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
