didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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