so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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