i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
