hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
