some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
