so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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