she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
