mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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