My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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