they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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