I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize