We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
