just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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