Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Im part way to drunk.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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