Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
