Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.

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(914): View more from New York

he puts the penis in happiness.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club

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(224): View more from Illinois

I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?

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(571): View more from Virginia

I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.

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