You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
