what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
