Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
