fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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