the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
