by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
