I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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