Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
