put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
