i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
