i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
