wakey wakey hands off snakey
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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