How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
