Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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