Sponge bath it is.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
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Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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