Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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