Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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