I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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