im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
