it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
