I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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