We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
