i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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