Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
