honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
