hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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