It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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